Passion vs. Comfort

Passion vs Comfort & Stability – is one better, more honest or healthier than the other?

I had two older cousins who were both great singers.  One of them, when he opened his mouth, it was masterful.  If he was on The Voice today, he would hear words like pure artistry, tone and pitch perfect.  His brother, while perhaps not as masterful from a critic’s point of view, sang with such unrestrained passion, you couldn’t help but be moved.  Is one way better than the other?  I guess it’s more a matter of preference when it comes to music, but what about other areas of our lives?

Careers

I know an attorney who owned and ran a successful law practice for many years.  Surprisingly, when his son was old enough to join the firm, he decided to retire.  He said he didn’t really enjoy it, but he was very good at it.  He turned the firm over to his son and brought a couple of tree farms and grows trees up to this day.  He occasionally comes to help out his son on an interesting case, because he’s good at it, but he is quite content to manage his tree farms.  I remember when I first learned of his decision to give up his firm my first thought was “who does that?”  Who gives up a law practice to grow trees?  Until I saw the years melt away from his face and how content he looked.  Perhaps he was passionate about the law early on in his career, but someone along the way it stopped being fulfilling.  Maybe it was expectations from others, money, peer pressure that made him pursue his career path in the first place.  

One of my sons is very passionate about his craft/artistry (he’s a writer & performer).  I have to admire his passion and drive as he pursues his passion.  However, as a mother, I want him to settle down and be comfortable and stable in a good job/career.  But he seems quite comfortable pursuing his passion.  As parents, we are supposed to guide our children’s paths, offer suggestions based on our knowledge and experience, and give them all the tools necessary for them to be successful.  But where do we draw the line as far as carving out their lives for them?  Do we force them down a path only to have them discontented later on in their lives?

Relationships

Have you ever seen the Haagen Daas commercial for their Gelato ice cream?  It’s the one where the Italian couple are yelling at each other one minute and making up the next and then back to fighting.  I get such a kick out of this commercial whenever it comes on (link here) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZUMYU-Ghb0.  I think the reason I like this commercial so much is that it is so opposite from who I am at the core.  Oh, my inner alter-ego is just like the woman in the commercial.  But in reality, I’m too much of a thinker, which would explain why I’ve been pondering this thought for a while. 

I’ve been observing both types of relationships (be it romantic, friendships or familial) for some time.  On the one hand, in the very passionate relationship, there is never a dull moment.  There is never any questions as to what they are feeling when they are feeling it.  Be it happiness, anger, disappointment, love.  They feel and express everything at 10. It is very expressive, vocal and demonstrative.  When they are loving and happy, it is so expressive that it seems impossible for them to not be loving and happy.  Then when the emotion flips and they are upset, it can get downright nasty and ugly, with the things that are said in the heat of the moment. From the outside looking in, it can look scary.  Then when they make up, it’s as if none of the ugliness ever happened. 

Then there is the comfortable relationship.  They are pretty consistent in their dealings with one another.  They seem consistent in their emotions.  There are no major ebbs and flows with them.  They seem to go along without too many hiccups or upset.  When they do argue, it’s more of a disagreement or discussion.  Most times, one or the other will concede to keep the peace or to reach a compromise.

So while one type of relationship can seem more stable and one can seem over the top at times from the outside looking in, which is more honest?

Thoughts for the Day

Is the passionate person more courageous; more honest or just more emotional?

Is the person that desires comfort over passion fearful or not as courageous?

Do you think it is possible for the two different mindsets (passion vs. comfort) to form successful partnerships and find balance?