Sunday, April 12, 2015

The Art of Forgiveness Series (Part IV)


How do you move from the anger towards an individual to forgiveness?  Remember, this is about you being made whole, not about absolving the other person’s actions.  Following the steps listed below will be helpful to you in moving towards forgiveness.


·         Understanding your own shortcomings helps in forgiving others.  When you are no longer in denial about the areas in your life where you have come short and need forgiveness from others, it helps you to empathize with others who have failed you and you’re more likely to forgive them.

·         Empathy – Once you are able to understand how or why another person acted towards you in the manner that they did, it gives you insight into the other person’s world.  It is only then that you begin to realize that although their actions hurt you, they were not about you, but rather the other person’s inability to process their own pain.  Hurt people hurt others.


Affirmations (Repeat these in the mirror every day until you begin to believe them)
Forgiving Others
What was done to me was not my fault.  I did not deserve it.  I am a good person worthy of love.
Forgiving Yourself
I am not my mistakes.  I have learned and grown from them and am worthy of unconditional love.




Exercise:
Answer the following questions about the person that you need to show forgiveness towards.
Who do you need to forgive?
What happened?
How is the pain of that situation still affecting you today?
What steps can you begin to take towards forgiveness?
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In what ways would your life improve if you were to forgive this person?
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Look at those areas in your life where you know you overreact or take things to the extreme.  Perhaps someone does something to you or says something to you, and you feel your blood start to boil.  Maybe you find yourself in a situation that feels all too familiar and it takes you back to that area of your life that is incomplete.  Whatever the situation, before you act, ask yourself this.  In all honesty, can you say that you are totally present in the moment or are you blending unresolved feelings from your past with this current situation?  If so, take some time before you react until you can be sure that you are only dealing with your present situation.  I know that’s easier said than done, but once you have become aware of what is unfinished in your life, you owe it to yourself and those in your life to finish those things from your past so that you ca be fully present to experience all that your life has to offer today.

Forgiveness puts you in the position to overcome your past, which can be a daunting responsibility because it now means that you are responsible for your life and choices.  However, with that responsibility also comes the freedom to make more positive choices and to design your life the way you truly desire.

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