How do you move from the anger
towards an individual to forgiveness?
Remember, this is about you being made whole, not about absolving the
other person’s actions. Following the
steps listed below will be helpful to you in moving towards forgiveness.
·
Understanding your own shortcomings helps in
forgiving others. When you are no longer
in denial about the areas in your life where you have come short and need
forgiveness from others, it helps you to empathize with others who have failed
you and you’re more likely to forgive them.
·
Empathy – Once you are able to understand how or
why another person acted towards you in the manner that they did, it gives you
insight into the other person’s world.
It is only then that you begin to realize that although their actions
hurt you, they were not about you, but rather the other person’s inability to
process their own pain. Hurt people hurt
others.
Affirmations
(Repeat these in the mirror every day until you begin to believe them)
|
Forgiving Others
What was
done to me was not my fault. I did not
deserve it. I am a good person worthy
of love.
|
Forgiving
Yourself
I am not my
mistakes. I have learned and grown
from them and am worthy of unconditional love.
|
Exercise:
Answer the following questions about the
person that you need to show forgiveness towards.
|
Who do you
need to forgive?
|
What
happened?
|
How is the
pain of that situation still affecting you today?
|
What steps
can you begin to take towards forgiveness?
·
·
·
·
|
In what
ways would your life improve if you were to forgive this person?
·
·
·
·
|
Look at those areas in your life
where you know you overreact or take things to the extreme. Perhaps someone does something to you or says
something to you, and you feel your blood start to boil. Maybe you find yourself in a situation that
feels all too familiar and it takes you back to that area of your life that is
incomplete. Whatever the situation,
before you act, ask yourself this. In
all honesty, can you say that you are totally present in the moment or are you
blending unresolved feelings from your past with this current situation? If so, take some time before you react until
you can be sure that you are only dealing with your present situation. I know that’s easier said than done, but once
you have become aware of what is unfinished in your life, you owe it to
yourself and those in your life to finish those things from your past so that
you ca be fully present to experience all that your life has to offer today.
Forgiveness puts you in the
position to overcome your past, which can be a daunting responsibility because
it now means that you are responsible for your life and choices. However, with that responsibility also comes
the freedom to make more positive choices and to design your life the way you
truly desire.
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