I know when you first
saw the topic, you thought I was going to talk about all the crazy things we do
for love. Well I am, sort of. I want to talk about what happens when that love
goes wrong.
This situation has crossed
my path quite often recently which got me to thinking. Then I was just surfing the web when I came
across an article where a guy was talking about his struggles with his child’s
mother. She no longer allowed him to see
his child because he was involved in a new relationship. Now it’s obvious to most that she is probably
hurt that he’s moved on with his life, which might indicate that she still
cares for him. Or it could be that she
just doesn’t like to lose. Whatever the
case, that’s not the love I’m focused on today.
That love is apparently over, but what about love for the child?
Trust me, I’ve been in
a similar situation where I wanted to get back at someone who had hurt and
betrayed me, but at the end of the day, the mature side of me needed to stand
up, be the bigger person and do what was best for the child. Once we become parents, our children’s best
interest should be foremost in our decisions while they are under our
care. Love for your children will make
you do the opposite of what’s considered normal or fair, and instead do what is
right. You might have your friends and
family egging you on with “that’s right, they don’t deserve to see those kids
after what they did”. However, I’m sure
if you took a moment to look inside your child’s heart, you might find that
they beg to differ. Children did not
ask to be in the situations that we sometimes find ourselves, but I’m sure if
they were allowed to voice their opinions, they would ask that we make the best
of the situation for their sakes. Short
of the non-custodial parent doing something that will cause irreversible damage
to our children (ie: abuse-mental, physical or any other type, involvement in criminal
activity, etc.), I can’t think of a justifiable reason to not foster this
relationship instead of sabotaging it.
It can only enhance our children’s overall growth and well-being. I know some won’t agree with me here, but I
don’t believe cheating and not even non-payment of child support (there is a recourse
for holding them responsible) are good enough reasons to deny visitation.
I don’t know, you tell
me. Is there ever a reason (beside abuse
or criminal activity) to deny a child a relationship with their parent?
Great article. I agree that the child's needs should be first and foremost. It's easier said than done. BUT, in the long run, it's the right thing to do. I sit here and think about my ex..the father of my two small children. I think about how he continually cheated. I also think about him not paying child support for months at a time. I further think about the day we split and he told me that he didn't have a chance to live his life and he wants to go out and experience it. It hurt me. I loved him so much and I gave all to the relationship. So, if anyone has experienced any of what I mentioned, I think they will agree that it is hard to even look at the person...let alone permit him to see his children. But I notice my children when they see their father.... a bright smile comes upon their faces and they tell their father that they love him. That was enough for me to allow him to keep the kids 3 nights a week. I believe that vengeance is the Lords, so I don't have to worry about a thing. God's got my back. My future hope is that the father teaches my daughter to never date a man like him.
ReplyDeleteAnnette, well said. First and foremost should be our love for our children and what is best for them. Even if it means putting our "revenge" on the backburner because you're right "vengeance belongs to God".
ReplyDelete